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Minneapolis: Women Can Now go TOPLESS

As violent crime spikes and temperatures plummet in Minneapolis, the city announced it is NOW LEGAL FOR WOMEN TO GO TOPLESS IN PARKS. Just in time for winter.

The StarTribune reports: “The Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board voted Wednesday to allow anyone to go topless in the city’s parks without being ticketed.”


If you think this sounds like something out of a Parks and Rec TV episode, you’re not far off. Check out this 30-second clip about this exact topic:

(TRANSCRIPT: Is this gonna be a topless Park? I don’t think there are topless parks. Well, let’s build the first one and be heroes! If this is going to be a topless Park, I won’t sign your petition. If she’s going to the topless Park, I’m not signing the topless Park petition. You know, I take that back. I’m still in. What’s up? I’m Harris. Yeah yeah, forget whatever that Pawnee Commons is. I’m with that pervert. Topless Park! Topless Park!)

Meanwhile, back in reality, alpha news reports:

“Minneapolis has seen a citywide increase in violent crime of over 23% compared to last year, with some precincts seeing over a 40% increase. Over 500 people have been shot this year, the homicide rate has nearly doubled, and carjackings across the city are up by more than 300%.”

With so many odd, ironic news events in Minneapolis, it’s hard to keep abreast of them all. . .